Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
