READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
