the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
