The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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