yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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