its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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