She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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