Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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