i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
