yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
