Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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