i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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