Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
