id be glad to
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
