he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
