I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
