And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
