and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
