I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
