she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
