Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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