And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
