After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
