Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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