My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
