you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
