Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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