So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
