found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
