Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
