He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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