is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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