That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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