chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
