You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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