I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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