Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
