Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
