worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
