Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
