We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
