I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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