Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
