You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Everclear isn't food dammit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
