guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
