I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
