i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
