You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
