Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
