It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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