So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
